In a previous post I talked about little Johnny being selected to the ODP team for the second time. Well we just returned from the first tournament for the year. And it was great. There were four or five states represented in this round robin tournament. Lots of talent everywhere you looked. We got settled into the hotel for the night anticipating the game the next morning. Johnny was clearly excited. He was on Facebook giving his friends updates on the hotel, the next days schedule, and what he had for dinner.
As has become tradition for us, we talk about the days to come and I always ask Johnny what he wants to get out of it. What are his expectations? What’s he going to do to achieve them? His initial responses were typical. He wanted to have fun. He wanted to win. He wanted to play really well. I told him these were really great goals but how are you going to accomplish them. How are you going to win? How will you know you really played well? How will you know you had fun? He thought about it for a while and said he didn’t really know. And to be honest, as we were having our pillow talk, I really didn’t have a great answer either. I thought about it for a while and it occurred to me that maybe he could focus on something that we had identified in the past as something he needed to overcome.
Johnny takes his soccer very seriously and puts a lot of pressure on himself to perform. He absolutely knows when he does something spectacular and when he doesn’t. There have been those times where he just messes up – like everyone does… He then begins spiraling down in terms of confidence. I term it a “let down” moment. I can see it. Everyone see’s it. The head drops, shoulders roll forward. From there on out he’s out the game. He let himself be taken out of the game. We’ve talked about this on many occasions but it never really sunk in. So as we lay there in bed I said, “If you were to ask me what your goal should be I would suggest this….”. I then went on to talk about our past discussions around this topic. He acknowledged it as an issue and understood the impact of not dealing with it. So I suggested a goal of no matter what goes wrong you’ll always keep your head high, shoulders back, and focused on the game. I made sure to reference how the pro’s react to mistakes. It’s a five second reaction – then that’s it – move on. Johnny said, “I’ll try Dad”. And that was it for the night.
Johnny was up at 5am. Excited.. you bet.
I could give you the play by play of the games but I’ll spare you the details. I will say that I think Johnny, for this weekend, met his goals. He had a fantastic three games. Scored a goal in each game and just owned a new position. He was placed in a position he’s never played before. I was thinking this might be one of those “let down” moments, but it wasn’t. He knew he was given a job to do and he did it. Very well in fact. He got whacked a few times and jumped right back up. Something he may not have done in the past. I get the feeling he’s really starting to mature both physically and mentally. To be sure we talked about the goals he set and the one I suggested. He had a fantastic time. They beat every team, so they won. And he played really really well. And as for the “let down” moment – not once. Even in situations where in the past he would have taken himself mentally out of the game. I was proud of him and he was more importantly proud of himself.
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